Date: October 3rd 2008

 

Westprint Friday Five October 3, 2008

Included this week are:

·         The Emu War – the conclusion

·         4WDing Gippsland

·         Sir Frederick Range  

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Friday Five 3/10/08

1. (The) Breaker – Tape. Kit Denton. The story of Breaker Morant, executed at Pietersburg in 1902. His crime was wilful murder of civilians, yet to this day his guilt remains in doubt. 6 cassette set. Normally $46.95 including post, one only available $35.00 including post. 

2. 4WDing Gippsland. Covers all the high country of Eastern Victoria. Tracks and campsites from east of Melbourne to MSW border. 104pp. $24.00 including post. Now out of print. Four copies still available. 

3. Busted Out Laughing. Dot Collard's story. Noongar woman, Dot Collard is as natural a storyteller as she is an international actress. In this candid memoir she weaves together memories and stories centred around her family in Western Australia 's south-west. As the mother of nine children dot immersed herself in family life. It was not until her sixties that with characteristic courage, she launched a career as a theatre and television actress. Two copies available @$25.00 inc post. 

4. Restore to Service. A Unit history of 4 RSU-482 Maintenance Squadron. This unit was based just south of Darwin and their mission was to salvage spare parts from downed planes to keep others flying. Hardcover $36.00 including post. One copy only. 

5. Australian Short Story Collection. Australian Short Story Collection. Edited by Laurie Hergenham. Lawson, Marshal, White, Moorehouse, Wilding and others. 354 pp. One copy only $28.00 including post.

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Postage Rates. These items will usually not be found on our website. Orders will be supplied on a ‘first come, first serve’ basis. Postage rates are $9.50 for one book, $12.50 for two books, $14.00 for 3 or more books. Free post on orders of more than $150.00. Postage rates apply to Australia only. Airmail postage rates apply to overseas orders.

An important message.

Please note that the opinions and articles included in the Friday Five are not necessarily those of the Westprint crew. Nor do we endorse products (other than our own) listed in contributed articles.

Friday Forum

Jo’s forum comments in green.

The Emu War

Continuing the story of the Emu war sent in by Perry and from the following publication. Serventy D.L. & H.M. Whittell, 1967. Birds of Western Australia . Lamb Publications Pty Ltd, Perth .

By 1932 a major offensive was being planned with the army, about 50 local landholders, the press and an international film crew in attendance.

Please note: What was acceptable in 1932 may not be politically correct now.

A preliminary skirmish on the first day accounted for about 12 birds out of a mob of 40 which approached Campion siding. However, the gunners’ dreams of point-blank fire into masses of Emus soon vanished. On the second day it was realised that open warfare was useless as the birds had split up into innumerable small parties. Ambuscades were resorted to and the guns placed at dams where the birds came to drink. Before daylight on November 4 a mob of about 1,000 Emus approached such an ambush, the largest mob that had hitherto come within point-blank range. Gunner O’Halloran opened fire at a few hundred yards and about a dozen birds fell when the gun jammed. The biggest kill at an ambush took place two days later when about 50 birds were shot. By then about a quarter of the ammunition had been expended.  

The disappointing results drew farcical references in the House of Representatives at Canberra and on November 8 Sir George Pearce ordered the withdrawal of the Lewis guns from the combat area. “No reason is advanced for this step,” stated a Canberra press report, “but it is believed that the defence authorities do not desire to have a precedent set up in the destruction of noxious birds and animals in such a manner.” The dismayed settlers, claiming that about 500 Emus had already been destroyed, urged the resumption of operations and their continuance at least until the allotted 10,000 rounds had been expended. Sir James Mitchell added his representations and the same military party again entrained for Campion on November 12. The campaign, however, had lost its glamour and the party was unaccompanied by the press or photographers. There were no spectacular results anyway. A day’s casualties of 50 Emus was sufficiently important to be chronicled in an occasional news item. The Department of Agriculture looked coldly on the whole campaign. A spokesman told the press that the department had not been consulted when the armed party under Major Meredith commenced its offensive against the Emus and the whole affair had been arranged by the settlers themselves with the Defence Department………..”  

Sir Frederick Range

by Bev Deckert

Although Bev does not often write for a wider audience (and in fact she doesn’t know we have used this) she keeps us entertained with her version of events on Westprint field trips. Here is an excerpt from their latest venture in the Territory.

·         …The lonely sign post on the seldom-driven Sandy Blight Road painted a picture of bygone days, of hard to find diversions,of flat tyres and broken motors of the Len Beadell era. In the distance red rolling stones covered every mountain range in view. A fierce bushfire had denuded every living plant and tree for as far as the eye could see. On one far off range was a small mound of stones, a cairn, presumably erected by the hard working Len Beadell crew to pass the time of day while bulldozing the Sandy Blight Junction Road about 60 years ago.

“This is the only place that I know of where Len Beadell made a track off the main road to a survey point on a mountain”, said John, and if they could bulldoze a track 60 years ago with just one old bulldozer surely to us, in our brand-new (third-hand) ex-rental, super-dooper 2004 Troopy with two special thingoes in the front it would be a breeze. Despite my futile pleading, threatening and weeping, the Deckerts were bouncing over a rolling range of mountains where we rattled, rolled, grunted and groaned to get over every ridge. The lonely little cairn was now becoming slightly larger with every mountain the tired Troopy managed to cross. Stones clattered down the mountain on either side of the brave but exhausted, brand-new, third-hand ex-rental Troopie. My protesting screams, pleadings and threats fell on deaf ears as “he” stated that if they could do it 60 years ago in an old Land Rover then we could do it. An almost vertical track rutted with huge potholes had our third-hand, ex-rental super-floggeed Troopie doubting its wish for ill-gotten glory by its retirement-age driver. Its wheels became entrenched in the stones and would not go any further.

The reverse tactic by the retirement-age driver managed to bring the reluctant 4wd to a standstill. What now? No room to turn around. My thoughts turned to a fat little baby grandson and six others we would never see again if that old-age driver rolled one stone too far as he gingerly maneuvered the exhausted ex-rental Troopie in a fifteen point turn. I sat with my eyes tightly shut, stomach churning like water going down a plug hole until we were finally facing the opposite way on the road to that dreadful cairn. My sister reckoned I was looking a little pale when we reached the relative safety of a passing area. Well I had news for them. I had been green, yellow, red and every other colour before reaching them. If we had gone over the edge a helicopter would have been our only way out. I hope that old bloke has finally learned that I do not like being put into these situations and that he is not the only one to be considered in his quest for fool’s glory.

(Note: John disputes the above story)

Friday Funnies

·         After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. 
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.  Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots   (marked with a "P"), and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers (marked with an "S") . (By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.  
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200ft per min descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.   S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.  

·         WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE...I'M BROKE!!
Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' I said. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my slate floor in the main entrance of the house!
'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your floor, Sir, I will personally eat the remainder.'
I stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of ‘broke’ do you not understand?'

 

·         A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.

"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!"

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Cheers for now,

Jo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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